I am reading the list of the happiest countries concocted by the Legatum Institute.  The criteria for a happy country are simple:  able to speak your mind, available opportunities and the material wealth which you can acquire. But then if you are rich aren’t you happy in any places where you decide to lay your wealth?

The 3 first countries Norway, Denmark and Finland are all in, northern Europe, Scandinavia.  The temperature is so low that life is sheltered by the indoors or outside having fun gliding down snowy landscape. The fauna is full of reindeer an animal which feeds on moss and mushrooms.

Number 4 and 5 are Australia and New Zealand.  Two large islands, that some call mini-continent, on the other side of the world.  The weather is much nicer and the landscape beautiful when it is not inundated like in Australia. The fauna is exquisite with kangaroos, Tasmanian devils and Koalas. Around these “islands” sharks are famous to feed on happy surfers.

The common points of the five happiest countries are:

  • They have a small population of between 5 and 6 millions while Australia has about 23 millions.  Believe me that’s tiny compared to the rest of the world.
  • All of them are a homogeneous majority – They are all white.
  • Follow the same religion – Christianity.

The happy countries have a very small indigenous or immigrant population which they controlled very well. Thank you!

In New Zealand the Māoris are only less that 13% but represent 50% of the jail population.

In Australia minorities and especially Indian students are killed and bashed to a pulp at an alarming rate.  In India, the Australian ambassador was summoned by the government for explanation and his answer was “I don’t know I wasn’t there”. 

Norwegians think that any woman of colour is a prostitute.  So if a wife, girl friend or daughter does not fit the Aryan look do not be surprised if a happy man from this happy country asks “how much for a happy moment”.  It seems to happen a lot on Karl Johan Street in Oslo. Also, killing baby seals is a sport.

In Denmark fascism is growing but they call it cultural difference.  Cultural difference is a happy sentence.

In Finland all is well as long as you are not a Sami, Somali or Romany then you belong to the happy majority.

But then … if these people are so happy why booze so much? They drink themselves silly happy.
Denmark is number 7 on the booze’s Richter scale with 11.5 litters of alcohol ingested per year. 
Australia ranks 14 with 9.8 liters besides consuming a large amount of cocaine and amphetamines, Finland is 16 with 9.3 liters, New Zealand 19 with 8.9 liters and Norway 28 with 6 liters.

The happy countries have a high suicide rate too. Finland wins the top award with 18.8 suicides per 100,000 happy inhabitants. Do you want to know the rest?
New Zealand has 13.2, Norway has 11.4, Denmark has 10.6 and Australia has 10.5 happy suicides per 1000,000 inhabitants.

I know the survey is crap because the continent with the lowest suicide rate is South America where none of the 10 happiest countries are located.

Happy people don’t kill themselves regardless of circumstances.  Believe me! I will be happier drinking a piña colada made with fresh pineapple juice on any South American beach resort.  It is better than sitting on a rock in Norway going oh-ah looking at fjords while drinking aquavit made of potatoes.

The five happy countries don’t even have carnivals. The happiest people have not learned how to dance yet. Their fun is to drink and jump off a cliff.




  1. I agree with you 100%. Their so called standards on measuring happiness is not scientific . This is all pseudo science. I wonder why so many of them commit suicide if they are so happy. That is the question they should answer.It must be a dreadful feeling running around believing one is superior and even happier than others. Lord have mercy. Me thinks they are fooling themselves.Lol!
    These are the same people who leave and go down south where the people are warmer and folks are really happy and fall in love with the place and cannot leave, becoming blissfully happy for the first time in their lives. Yes the same Australians, Norwegians and Danes. The Canadians also.

    Believing rhythm is not within them, they even pay to learn how to dance.
    Many of them are often shocked to see how folks with less have acquired and mastered the art of being happy.
    I don’t want their empty, maddening happiness.

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