Category Archives: Just for fun

I want to let out my sacarsm.

AYAPANECO RANT


thank you note for every language

Image by woodleywonderworks via Flickr

While reading the article I could not stop laughing.
The last two existing people able to speak the Ayapaneco language are not talking to each other.

Manuel Segviovia, 75, and Isidro Velazquezto, 69, living in a small town of Mexico are brooding. That’s a nightmare for anthropologist and I hope that Manuel and and Isidro speak Spanish as finding an interpreter fitting their needs must be problematic.

Then, thinking about it, the fewer languages the better. The world should have five to ten major languages in every continent and that should do it.

Birth and dying are part of the evolution process and so are languages. We are not talking about extinction of species but way of expressing one self.

For me a valid language should be translated into another at all level. Meaning; that it should have minimum borrowing from another one to find an identity.

It is useless to spend huge amount of money to print school books in a language discontinued for studies at university level.

Weird, but some countries insist on saving the vernacular then switch language for a higher form of education.

I love the sound of French patois but what can you do with it when you want to learn nuclear medicine, quantum velocity or even international criminal law.

The world speaks over 6,000 languages. Papua New Guinea holds the record with over 800 indigenous languages and Nigeria has over 500. It is a pure social nightmare and they would fare better with only two or three unifying languages.

Of course, being bilingual is fun with languages which are commonly used and not only English, French or Spanish but also Russian, Mandarin, Hindi, Arabic, Japanese or Gujarati.

Gujarati is spoken by 46 millions people and is among the 30 most spoken language in the world and East Africa has almost 450,000 people of Indian descent speaking it.

East Africa chose to invent Kiswahili not fluently spoken by 15 million people.

Learning Gujarati ,at the onset, would have been better as to join a majority of 46 million.  Sorry, a few will tell you the need to acquire an identity.

Speaking Kiswahili does not give an identity since it is a mixture of Arabic, German, Portuguese, English and French and double words. I think that it is the language with the most double syllable words in the world:

Me –  mimi
You – wewe
How are you – sasa
Road – barabara
Garbage – katakata
Chicken – kuku
Child – toto
This, that, what’s that or whatever – nini.

In Kiswahili the time structure has six hours difference.  Meaning you add six to whatever shows your watch.
Wouldn’t it be nice to only use the time shown on a clock?

I feel bad for these two guys in Mexico but then life is life and if they don’t want to speak to each other that’s ok with me.
It is their business and I will not interfere with it.
Anyway, I couldn’t interfere, I don’t speak their language.
No one does.

Patrick-Bernard

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CHEAP FLIGHT RANT


Kenya Airways Boeing 777 at Nairobi Internatio...

Image via Wikipedia

I checked the cost of a one way economy ticket from Nairobi (Kenya) to Entebbe (Uganda).   I used flight24.com to get the information. 

 I clicked the button and was given 8 choices:

  • 2 low-cost no-name carriers offer the trip at US $125 inclusive of tax.
  • 3 scheduled flights with United Aviation at US $165 inclusive of tax
  • 3 scheduled flights with Kenya Airways at US $286 inclusive of tax

Separately, I found out that Air Uganda has a round trip fare for US $199 excluding taxes. That’s rounds trip and the others are one way.

Kenya Airways is a whooping execrably expensive US $286. No wonder they make so much profit.

Anyway, today being Sunday, relax and listen to what my friend, Edward, posted on his face book account. While you listen, think about Kenya Airways. I don’t know why they charge so much considering the majority of their staff, except the top honcho, get lousy pay compare to their associates KLM and Air France.

Thanks Edward.

ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE


I have looked at Rolling Stone magazine greatest artists list.  I do not believe that it is correct since some of great artists on the music scene are not shown.  Of course, noblesse oblige, I probably would have been satisfied if they had listed only what I like. Unfortunately, it would have been a headache for the magazine since I am too eclectic in musical taste.

A nice foot note is that Rolling Stone Magazine’s name comes from a 1950 song “Rollin’ Stone” from Chicago blues master Muddy Waters. It is a version of a song originally written by Robert Petway and called “Catfish blues”.

But what is rock music?
Wikipedia wrote it best: “its immediate origins lay in a mixing together of various Black musical genres of the time, including rhythm and blues and gospel music with country and western.”
Notice that I put a capital B on Black because Black people from my Diaspora, slavery, are capital to me.

So all Black people out there do not be mistaken, White folks listen and dance to the foundation of Black roots.
I am not so sure that White people can dance but at least they try their very best to jump up and down when the ceiling is very high.  Also, White artists have recorded, again riding with Black roots, some of the most exquisite music on this planet.  Somebody had to show the way. Slap me! I am kissing my hand but a spade is a spade.

Rolling Stone is a rock magazine probably more interested in rock or genre of music influencing rock. Beside music, it is avant-garde and they have great articles on politic, culture and whatever they want to dab on.

I sound like an advertising campaign.  Well, I don’t make money out of my blog, I just write on things that I like and I like Rolling Stone Magazine.  I hesitate to say that I love it since I don’t know if they would love me back.

So, before I forget, I have looked at three things: the top 100 greatest guitarists, the 100 greatest singers, the 500 greatest albums, and the 100 greatest artists of all times.

I was unable to check the complete list, I live in an anorexic internet country where I can play three games of spider solitaire until my internet comes up, but I can tell you that for each artist the write-up is a nice read.

According to Rolling Stones magazine the Black guitarists among the 10 best guitarists of all times are: 
Jimmy Hendrix (1), BB King (3), Robert Johnson (5), and Chuck Berry (6). 
I do have a problem since I believe that Carlos Santana should have been among the 10 best guitarits.
Yuk! You can’t be always lucky.

The Black artists among the 10 best singers of all times are: 
Aretha Franklin (1), Ray Charles (2), Sam Cooke (4), Marvin Gaye (6), Otis Redding (8), Stevie Wonder (9),and James Brown (10).
Yep, Strange but James Brown made the list.  He had a song called “It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World”.  The title is chauvinist but listen to it when he says that “But it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl”. This simple phrase makes me “Black and proud”.

The Black albums among the 20 best albums of all times are:  
Marvin Gaye (6) – What’s going on,  Miles Davis (12) – Kind of Blues, The Jimmie Hendrix Experience (15) and Michael Jackson(20) Thriller.
I like Jazz which is one of my three favorite musical genres, and Miles Davis in his album “Kind of Blues” has one of my favorite piece “So what”.

The Black artists among the 10 best artists of all times are: 
Chuck Berry (5), Jimmy Hendrix (6), James Brown (7), Little Richard (8), Aretha Franklin (9), and Ray Charles (10).
I like all the other one but Jimmy Hendrix, for me, was the epitome of what people can do when they unify passion. With his guitar he pioneered hard rock and that was his passion.

Patrick-Bernard

BLACK AMERICANS’ INFLUENCE IN FRANCE


REMEMBER: FEBRUARY IS BLACK HISTORY MONTH

Chloë Mortaud’s mother is a Black American from Mississippi.  She is born in France and has dual citizenship (France/USA).  Of course, men will notice her beauty but an interesting fact is that she won Miss France in 2009.

I love Jazz and the first concert I ever saw, in France, as a teenager was the Jazz organist Jimmy Smith.  The place was packed wall to wall.  The audience gave him a standing ovation. I loved it because the man on the stage was black; black like me.

I don’t know the theory of attraction of Black American artists for France.  Some spent a lengthy part of their career and other remained as permanent fixture. They definitely influenced the French art scene.

I am sure that more will go to France but here are a few who proudly signed “Made in Black America” over the years.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Patrick-Bernard

LOOKING FOR A USED CAR?


The blog “Vuga!” provides interesting age statistic of first world leaders versus African leaders. The average age of African leaders is 76 compared to 51 for the first world, a gap of 25 years.

It is interesting to know that 86 years old Robert Mugabe, omnipotent president of Zimbabwe, an educated man with more than 6 university degrees was able from the onset to run down Zimbabwe’s budding economy. He is educated but unable to make logical and common sense decisions.

David Cameron, age 43, the UK prime minister has only one degree, definitely less than six, is trusted to govern one of the biggest economic power house in the world. He has a smaller collection of degrees than Mugabe but learned at a young age that the definition of moron is Mugabe.

Assuming that both leaders were care salesman. From whom would you buy a used car?  
It is assumed that most of the answers will be in favor of David Cameron.

Some people would even buy a used car from belligerent Nicolas Sarkozy, age 55, of France.
He may try to sell you a lemon but common sense, when caught, will force him to offer at least a large discount or a refund.

The African leaders, with their years of imposed governance have been unable to absorb new information, produce new ideas and concept through critical thinking.

Soon some African countries will experience famine due to drought.  It is a yearly problem which has gone on for decennia if not more.  Usually a network of transport infrastructure easily solves or greatly alleviates the problem.

In Africa the leaders grey matter works by informing the nation that a drought is coming.  People start dying of hunger, picture of animal carcasses are plastered on the news then donor communities are kindly requested money for support.
Mind you that it happens in countries exporting flowers, beef, fruits and vegetables to other part of the world.
These leaders critical thinking does not go beyond receiving a fish. The idea of fishing for themselves is foreign.

President Barrack Obama, 48, articulates profound ad libitum speeches raising emotions to its highest level. President Kibaki, 71, of Kenya mumbles written speeches plunging crowd in the deepest sleep. Rumor is that Kibaki has its own translator to understand what he says.

The paradox is that Africa is the world youngest continent with an estimated 65% of population being under the age of 30.

People, so far, have been unable to find the bush where these septuagenarian hides. It is worrying since, elections after elections, they always spring as candidates out of nowhere.

Not all is bad though.  I am sure someone would buy a used car from 75 years old Ellen Johnson Sirleaf of Liberia.

Patrick-Bernard

HAT HAT EVERYWHERE


Salva Kiir

I wish all the best to Salva Kiir and like a lone ranger he will savor victory of being the leader of the newest country on the African continent, Southern Sudan,  by riding toward the horizon with his 10 gallons hat firmly set on his head.

I could not help it.  Somehow leaders who eat sleep and …with their HAT on irritate me.

Goodluck Jonathan, president of Nigeria, likes oil colored fedora hat. Lula of Brazil helps him to hide his half-moon bald head. Check out Goodluck’s counterfeit smile

 
  
Raila Odinga, Kenya coalition prime minister,  likes milky cream or born-again-virgin-white colour ten gallons hat. 
 
 
Quote of the day: ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity. Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

 

The ride waiting for the cowboys

  Patrick-Bernard

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011


HAPPY NEW YEAR

The New Year will have new crops for spring and probably more crap from the politicians. Let’s see how inventive they will be for 2011.

It is time to return all that you borrowed.  In my case you have until 31st December midnight to get your things back.  Pass the deadline; I will consider your items mine.

I probably will not show up anywhere, unless I am invited, as I don’t want your presence to bring me bad luck. Anyway, if you insist remember that I like to drink red wine. Better, I am willing to bring my bottle so I don’t have to wind you up at your cost.

Anyway, bear in mind that New Year’s resolutions do not work.  So don’t suffer by not smoking, drinking or eating pass the stroke of midnight.  You will be a miserable bloke annoying the ones wanting to have a good time.

The only resolution I will accept is for you to stop sending chain letters. I do not feel guilty by not forwarding them to 5, 10 or 20 of my friends or deleting them as spasms. Actually my friends are grown up and I wish for them to stay as such.

Before I forget, a toast and happy New Year to WikiLeaks Julian Assange he brought to the world the gifts that Santa has not been able to ho ho ho from the time he put on his red silly suit.

My prediction for the New Year is that I will receive phone calls from the people who never gave a shit about me the whole year. I don’t feel bad as the feeling is mutual with the exception that I will not call you.

My phone will SMS non stop from people I hardly know.  Don’t insist it will be a waste of your money as my phone, as usual, will be on selective mode.  It selects the sms that deserve to be read.

Please, wherever you are don’t start crying because the old year is gone.  It was not so good anyway and drama queen tears just irritate me and make champagne taste bitter. So don’t spoil the fun.

I wish to all my good friends a divorce so I don’t have to hear about their bad relationship in 2011, a solid prenuptial agreement if they wish to jump from the good life to marriage.  Also, children if it is for love and not decoration, a need to keep up with the Jones or a pension scheme for old age.

My resolutions,  that I can keep for the New Year,  is to eat the food and drink the wine that I like, not listen to advice from people always asking me for advice,  get a haircut only once a month, listen to music at the volume I want since I’ve got headphone, tell it like it is, not go to these mega weddings where they serve self-service food,  no funerals this year since the people I like will live on, not excuse myself again for calling my father’s ex-wife by his late girl friend’s name, help more my homeless friend whose seems to be getting crazier and be nastier to people who are rude to me.

The resolutions I wish but are a pipe dream and will never happen is for a Tsunami to hit a meeting of the head of states of the African Union, for poachers to get unicorned by rhinos, to have a gay albino as president of Uganda, for some politicians to keep their drugs and give me my social booze back after hours, Sarkozy to have a role in the new version of Snow White and the seven dwarfs and for Obama to stop embarrassing me.

“Happy New Year”
Now, let’s toast, kiss kiss and no problem if you don’t like champagne.
“Give me your glass!”

Patrick-Bernard